Should We Smack Our Children?

Should We Smack Our Children? By Kim Patrick

Many parents struggle with the question "should I smack my child"? Every parent wants to do the right thing by their children. We hear all sorts of things from psychologists about children being emotionally scarred for life because of being smacked. But what is the truth? Should we smack our children or not?

This is a personal thing and I cannot tell you what to do. I can simply tell you my observations and experiences. I am always learning, studying and observing things so that I might make better informed decisions as a parent. These are my three golden rules for smacking:

1. Smacking needs to be an absolute last resort. Before you even consider going there with your child you need to have exhausted every other possibility. There are alternatives that need to be explored: What about time out? What about withdrawal of privileges? What about grounding? What about taking away a favourite toy for a period of time? What we want to do here is find the best possible way to achieve the desired result.

2. Never smack when you are angry. This is not only important; it is crucial. Many parents get angry and smack out of anger - this simply is not acceptable in any way shape or form and is bullying and abusive. Parents can never engage in this behaviour. I guess the problem I see with so many parents today is that they still do this, even though they don't mean to, and in the end it is the child who suffers. We should only ever considering giving out a smack when we are in full control of our emotions. Period.

3. Let your child know in advance before you smack them. Do not suddenly come up behind them and whack them on the bottom with no warning. The whole purpose of smacking is to teach the child a lesson. At school teachers tell their class what they are going to learn, they teach them and then they summarize. This is a great pattern to follow with your child. There should be no confusion in the mind of the child. You should clearly state what the child has done wrong. If you cannot define it then don't smack them for it. How would you like it if a traffic officer pulled you over and gave you a ticket but said to you "I'm not sure what you were doing wrong but here's a ticket anyhow?" That would be ridiculous.

Those are just three rules for smacking children. I cannot tell you what is right. Kids do need discipline or they will go astray in life. You as the parent need to figure out what is going to work in your family. But please know that there is a right way to smack your children.

Kim Patrick is a single mother with four children, living in Queensland, Australia. She is a seminar speaker, author and parent coach, and runs an online mentoring program for parents. She is also creator of the "My Sleeping Angel" CD series, aimed at facilitating behavioural changes in children while they sleep.

Parents can obtain a copy of her best selling CD for just one dollar by signing up for a FREE 30 day trial of parent mentoring at http://www.yourchildcanbehave.com. These CDs have given Kim national television exposure and have helped hundreds of children change their behaviour as a result.

Don't want the mentoring? Go to http://www.mysleepingangel.com/digital if you would rather buy a copy than get one for free.