The Benefits of Doing Anger Work

The benefits of doing Anger Work are beyond measure. Instead of following in the footsteps of dysfunctional family role models you can find the freedom to break out of those behavior patterns and become the “you” that you have always wanted to be. Instead of sabotaging your own happiness by repressing your anger (which undermines your physical and emotional health via stress-related illness, obsessive-compulsive behavior, and/or depression) or exploding in anger (which fractures relationships in your life, and causes you to be hounded by guilt), now you can be proactive about resolving your own anger. You can get mad and get over it, without all the lingering side-effects.

As with anything in life that is truly worthwhile, there is a cost. Now that you have your anger work tools, I encourage you to be brave and think about your past, as much of it as you can, and see what you find. Get out your old photo albums, talk to your old friends and family about your life, or go visit some place in your past and see what feelings arise. Getting these old feelings to surface and then dealing with them via Anger Work is comparable to clearing all the moldy, disgusting leftovers out of your emotional refrigerator. Doing this type of emotional backtracking is a very serious, though fruitful endeavor.

The price of your healing is that you will need to invest your time and energy in this project. Financial success, owning a nice home, having a good reputation in your field of work, and finding your soul mate are all worthy goals. However, it is possible to have all those and still be unhappy because of depression, anxiety, or other symptoms that come from unresolved emotional issues. Your level of emotional health is the filter through which the rest of your life experiences are perceived. I urge you to ask yourself this question: is there anything more worthy of your time and attention than your own emotional well-being?

Take a moment and think of any person who has achieved greatness, not someone who has inherited riches or won the lottery, but someone who has achieved his or her own goals. How was the person able to accomplish so much? Personal commitment, hard work, and perseverance undoubtedly played a great role. Some of you may think that success has more to do with having good luck or good genes. I encourage you to read the biographies of two or three of your favorite successful people. Read about Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Oprah Winfrey, Isaac Newton, Michael Jordan, or Marie Curie and see what the important factors were in their lives. You will learn that people who are great achievers are very motivated and work hard to achieve their goals. They spent lots of time and energy developing and maintaining their skills. Achievement of any kind takes time and work. Make it your highest possible goal to heal from the abuses of your past and become fully you (the “you” you were intended to be, not the one you may have become as a result of being battered by life). To accomplish this you will need to do a lot of soul searching. Most people avoid their feelings because they lack the tools necessary to process painful and traumatic events. That is why so many people who were abused as children turn to addictive behavior. You are no longer in that predicament.

Now you know what you have to do to work out those emotions and heal. You simply have to be committed to your own health and make it happen. This entails taking time weekly, or better yet daily, to focus on your repressed feelings and heal them with Anger Work. Of course, the more you work on eliminating your emotional baggage, the quicker you will lighten your load. You will reap great rewards if you will spend the time.

For many of you, this will mean a lot of changes in you life. Usually, our lives are replete with responsibilities and activities that leave little or no time for self-reflection and Anger Work. In order to carve the time out of your schedule you may have to get good at putting together two letters of the alphabet, “N” and “O.” One of my greatest struggles as a therapist is to get people to say “no” to activities so they have time for Anger Work. If you are serious about your emotional health, then you need time to work on it. Saying “no” may not make you popular with others, but not saying “no” has consequences too.
You may deceptively appear to be in good health for a while, but your body systems are slowly deteriorating.

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