The Three Question Test For Friends

Are you interested in steering your child from harm? Do you wonder sometimes why your child seems to stay in trouble? Then perhaps you could benefit from the ˜Three Question Test'.

Do you have qualifiers or standards for your own personal relationships? I recently heard a sermon from Ed Young called 'Outrageous, Contagious Joy' where he made a statement that caught my attention. He was speaking of the response he received when talking with kids (or adults for that matter) who had made some pretty bad choices. He said a pattern had developed and he heard this statement more than a few times "I had these friends...".

The focus of the sermon was on relationships and how they can affect your life and your future, sometimes causing you to take paths that you never intended to take. It reminded me of my 'Three Question Test'.

My sons are now grown but when they were younger (and I must admit, even now) and they informed me of a new friend, I would respond with 'The Three Questions'.

1. What Church do they attend?

2. What do their parents do?

3. When was the last time you saw them do something for someone else when they thought no one was looking?

As children (only interested in playing and having fun), they certainly couldn't answer the first two questions but they were required to get the answers before they could extend an invitation to come to our home or to go to their new 'friends' home.

It was important that the child, not the parents, answer the questions.

You can imagine that my children saw this as an aggravation, but after a few times they grew to expect it and ask the questions before they informed me of their new 'friend'.

Why was this so important? I'm glad you asked.

In these three questions, lay all the answers I would need to determine if the new 'friend' was a benefit or a detriment to my sons.

The first question "What church do they attend?", gave me insight into whether the child attended church or even knew what church was. Not a disqualifying question, but a qualifying question.

The second question "What do their parents do?", gave me insight into the involvement of the parent to the child. If the parents were actively involved in raising their child and talked frequently, the child should know the answer. Again not a disqualifying question, but a qualifying question.

The last and most important question "When was the last time you saw them do something for someone else when they thought no one was watching?". This was the most important question. If my sons could not give me an answer, the friend was disqualified.

Not only did this benefit me as a parent, but my sons also began to observe why I ask these questions. At a very young age, they began to be 'selective' of their friends knowing what they faced when they spoke to me about a new friend.

The affect of the type of friends one has can not be unstated. Just as you are affected by the food that goes into your body, the music that you hear, the teaching that you place yourself under - the friends you have can either help you or hurt you.

I would encourage to employ the 'Three Question Test' or make up your own qualifying questions and be guided by I Corinthians 15:33:

• Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. (KJV)
• Don't be fooled by those who say such things, for "bad company corrupts good character. (NLT)
• Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals. (NASB)
• Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character. (AMP)

Gina Hendrix describes herself as "..just your garden variety blood bought daughter of the Living, Loving Most High God.." She is a Freelance Writer and Book Reviewer for several Christian Publishers. You can find more of her work at http://vesselproject.wordpress.com

The Three Question Test For Friends
By Gina Hendrix